Over the past 15 years the number of divorces in the Czech Republic has increased by a third. The Statistics Office predicts that this year the Czech Republic’s divorce rate should climb to a staggering 50 percent. The vast majority of marriages that break up, do so between their third and sixth year - usually at a time when small children are involved. Socially, the stigma of divorce is long gone but for the children caught up in it, the pain and confusion is as strong as ever.
Every fourth child in the Czech Republic comes from a divorced family. The vast majority of them live with their mothers, because in 90 percent of cases it is the mother who is awarded custody. Dr. Alena Cerna works at a family counselling clinic. She says that there are two main reasons why this is so - social stereotypes and economic pressure:
“Partly this is due to social stereotypes which say that the mother should take care of the children and the father should be the bread-winner. But the truth is that a father who would like to take care of two small children would have very little possibility of finding an appropriate job and making a living. Economical factors play a big role. But it is not just that. It is the whole arrangement of the society where it is expected that the mother will keep the kids.”
As a result, half a million children in the Czech Republic only get to see their father a few hours a week - if that. There is no conceivable reason why fathers should not ask to get custody of their children, or agree on joint custody with the children’s mother. However few of them are in a situation where they are able to provide full-time care. Although the concept of paternity leave is slowly catching on - employers do not have much patience with the demands placed on working single fathers. And while children over 10 are increasingly consulted about whom they wish to be with, these practicalities often limit the space for manoeuvre and the final court settlement. Dr. Cerna says that in such cases the best kids can hope for is an amicable divorce - where the divorced parents can spend time together or at least agree on an optimal holiday schedule.
“From the children’s point of view it is ideal that they do not lose contact with either parent. I would be glad if I could say that joint custody is the best solution but it also has its problems. If the children are spending alternately one week here and the next somewhere else then you could say that they have no real home. For a child a home is not just their parents it is the whole place - their toys, their friends, the house - which give them a feeling of stability and safety.”
A survey conducted among children aged 11 to 15 suggests that although they are unhappy about their parents divorcing, they see no reason why they should stay in a dysfunctional marriage. Although many of the answers appeared to be exceptionally mature, Dr. Cerna says that deep down the pain and uncertainty remains - to surface when they themselves enter into a serious relationship. So is the Czech Republic caught in a vicious circle - where parents pre-determine their children’s future happiness or unhappiness in married life? Dr. Cerna again:
“I always ask people / who are getting divorce counselling/ whether they are from a family where the parents divorced and very often it is so. Of course, some divorcees grew up in families which were complete and happy so there is no rule to say that such a child’s future is pre-determined. But I would say that children from divorced families have a more difficult start in life.”
Monday, March 24, 2008
Women beware "Get Rich or Die Trying"
More independent the modern day woman becomes, more she becomes thoughtless of the culture of the society. There has been a sharp rise in the number of divorce cases being filed in the Indian Courts month after month. The point to ponder upon is that most of the couples fall under the age group of 28 to 34.
To add to the despair, greed has taken up a big space in the plot of Law. When the 498a was being drafted, I don’t think that the learned people must have had the slightest of notion that this tool to protect women in India would turn out to be a sharp weapon to satisfy a woman’s greed to grow rich overnight. We will talk about it a little later, meanwhile…..
Let’s look at some of the possible reasons for the people falling under the age group of 28 to 34, opting for divorce:
1. High profile Career aspirations: There has been a massive economic growth in India over the past 20 years or so. The globalization of markets and the invasion of foreign brands have seen India Rise, rise and rise. This complemented with innumerable opening up of uncountable career options and opportunities. When a simple graduate today can earn more than what he or she had ever dreamt off, at the mere age of 20 something, he or she starts aspiring for more and more. One starts building a virtual road map of becoming a millionaire from a pauper in the least possible time. The desire of owning a Bungalow at 25 and a BMW at 28, drives one crazy at an immature age. In midst of all these thoughts, taking responsibility of a family bites the road map out. Hence the thought of divorce.
2. Financial Insecurity: Taking point 1 into consideration, there is always a financial insecurity that surrounds the “High Aspirer”. What if I loose my job? What if I loose all my money? I won’t spend money on my spouse. All these thoughts crop up and lead to the wild thought of being independent.
3. A Stage between immaturity and maturity: 28 to 34 are an age, which is a stage of transition from immaturity to maturity. It is during these years that one starts feeling bigger than what others are. During this period there are a lot of immature decisions taken thinking that they are mature.
4. Over confidence: A thought that one can lead one’s own way, leads to self-destruction. When one thinks that one can win the world without a weapon, one is wrong. Over confidence has crept in the attitudes of the Gen X today. This takes us back to point number 1.
5. Non-compromising nature: People become self reliant and a feeling of “I know all” comes in. This feeling gives birth to another feeling, “I can do without you”. When it comes to a husband wife relationship, separation is inevitable. There are a lot of instances in life where one has to compromise with the spouse. But this has been invaded by the feeling of “why should I?”
6. Independence: Our Generation has a willingness to live alone and independent. If not alone then with a partner who would be there for a relationship with no strings attached. You so your own stuff and I do mine. Independence is a result of nuclear families. Joint families, in this context, used to develop a supportive nature amongst co dwellers.
Coming back to where we had left…. The greed…. Yes we were taking about the greed that has crept into the minds of the modern day woman. “Women have always been oppressed” that is what the feminists Scream to the top of their voices “and its time that the men should pay back the debts”… Which Men are we talking about?
If the feminazis can prove that all the women of India have been suppressed or oppressed in the past, then I shall say that all men today should pay their debts. Was Rani Laxmi Bai ever oppressed?? I don’t think so. Anyways, lets leave it on them to decide.
I have but a question here: fine agreed that the women were oppressed till yesterday, but are the women today, really getting help out of the 498a and the DV?
Yesterday, I saw a slum dwelling man beating up his wife on the road. And there was no one to stop him until I did. Now when I tried stopping him, his wife pounced on me as if I was the culprit and I was trying to get in their family matters. I looked around to search for our great Feminazis but no one was there. Where was the DV Act then ?
Then in the evening I heard that a feminist NGO, had invaded the house of a businessman in one of the posh localities of my town, and had beaten up the husband because he came drunk the precious night and had abused his wife. I was zapped. I am sure the feminazis must have then suggested the wife to file a DV against the husband.
Now this woman will approach a lawyer suggested by the feminazis and will file a 498a against the husband. Then the businessman husband, fearing a fall in reputation, will pay a huge ransom to the wife. The wife will then distribute the promised share to the Police and the Feminazis.
One minute, I forgot to mention that the father of the wife will play a big role in fixing the amount of money to be extorted from the businessman son(a)-in-law. “remember, he will pay less if his parents are not convicted. So what if they do not stay with him. Who cares to investigate?”
Another minute please, I also forgot to mention that all this time the little 4-year-old daughter of the couple was going through a trance seeing her parents fight and the feminazis attack. During this extortion race, the little girl will slowly stride towards oblivion, I guess.
So this is where the Desire to Become Rich Overnight is leading the society. Broken families, lost and spoilt children, unethical practices, and the list goes on….
Yes, you guessed it right. The above is a stolen story from every home. There is nothing creative or new in it. People, I am not an author and why should I be? I don’t want to become modern Salman Rushdie or become infamous like Tasleema Nasreen.
Have you seen that movie ? “Get Rich or Die Trying”… NO!!! watch it today.
Editors, Please don’t publish this article. I don’t want to face shoot at sight orders, nor do I have time to receive hate mails.
To add to the despair, greed has taken up a big space in the plot of Law. When the 498a was being drafted, I don’t think that the learned people must have had the slightest of notion that this tool to protect women in India would turn out to be a sharp weapon to satisfy a woman’s greed to grow rich overnight. We will talk about it a little later, meanwhile…..
Let’s look at some of the possible reasons for the people falling under the age group of 28 to 34, opting for divorce:
1. High profile Career aspirations: There has been a massive economic growth in India over the past 20 years or so. The globalization of markets and the invasion of foreign brands have seen India Rise, rise and rise. This complemented with innumerable opening up of uncountable career options and opportunities. When a simple graduate today can earn more than what he or she had ever dreamt off, at the mere age of 20 something, he or she starts aspiring for more and more. One starts building a virtual road map of becoming a millionaire from a pauper in the least possible time. The desire of owning a Bungalow at 25 and a BMW at 28, drives one crazy at an immature age. In midst of all these thoughts, taking responsibility of a family bites the road map out. Hence the thought of divorce.
2. Financial Insecurity: Taking point 1 into consideration, there is always a financial insecurity that surrounds the “High Aspirer”. What if I loose my job? What if I loose all my money? I won’t spend money on my spouse. All these thoughts crop up and lead to the wild thought of being independent.
3. A Stage between immaturity and maturity: 28 to 34 are an age, which is a stage of transition from immaturity to maturity. It is during these years that one starts feeling bigger than what others are. During this period there are a lot of immature decisions taken thinking that they are mature.
4. Over confidence: A thought that one can lead one’s own way, leads to self-destruction. When one thinks that one can win the world without a weapon, one is wrong. Over confidence has crept in the attitudes of the Gen X today. This takes us back to point number 1.
5. Non-compromising nature: People become self reliant and a feeling of “I know all” comes in. This feeling gives birth to another feeling, “I can do without you”. When it comes to a husband wife relationship, separation is inevitable. There are a lot of instances in life where one has to compromise with the spouse. But this has been invaded by the feeling of “why should I?”
6. Independence: Our Generation has a willingness to live alone and independent. If not alone then with a partner who would be there for a relationship with no strings attached. You so your own stuff and I do mine. Independence is a result of nuclear families. Joint families, in this context, used to develop a supportive nature amongst co dwellers.
Coming back to where we had left…. The greed…. Yes we were taking about the greed that has crept into the minds of the modern day woman. “Women have always been oppressed” that is what the feminists Scream to the top of their voices “and its time that the men should pay back the debts”… Which Men are we talking about?
If the feminazis can prove that all the women of India have been suppressed or oppressed in the past, then I shall say that all men today should pay their debts. Was Rani Laxmi Bai ever oppressed?? I don’t think so. Anyways, lets leave it on them to decide.
I have but a question here: fine agreed that the women were oppressed till yesterday, but are the women today, really getting help out of the 498a and the DV?
Yesterday, I saw a slum dwelling man beating up his wife on the road. And there was no one to stop him until I did. Now when I tried stopping him, his wife pounced on me as if I was the culprit and I was trying to get in their family matters. I looked around to search for our great Feminazis but no one was there. Where was the DV Act then ?
Then in the evening I heard that a feminist NGO, had invaded the house of a businessman in one of the posh localities of my town, and had beaten up the husband because he came drunk the precious night and had abused his wife. I was zapped. I am sure the feminazis must have then suggested the wife to file a DV against the husband.
Now this woman will approach a lawyer suggested by the feminazis and will file a 498a against the husband. Then the businessman husband, fearing a fall in reputation, will pay a huge ransom to the wife. The wife will then distribute the promised share to the Police and the Feminazis.
One minute, I forgot to mention that the father of the wife will play a big role in fixing the amount of money to be extorted from the businessman son(a)-in-law. “remember, he will pay less if his parents are not convicted. So what if they do not stay with him. Who cares to investigate?”
Another minute please, I also forgot to mention that all this time the little 4-year-old daughter of the couple was going through a trance seeing her parents fight and the feminazis attack. During this extortion race, the little girl will slowly stride towards oblivion, I guess.
So this is where the Desire to Become Rich Overnight is leading the society. Broken families, lost and spoilt children, unethical practices, and the list goes on….
Yes, you guessed it right. The above is a stolen story from every home. There is nothing creative or new in it. People, I am not an author and why should I be? I don’t want to become modern Salman Rushdie or become infamous like Tasleema Nasreen.
Have you seen that movie ? “Get Rich or Die Trying”… NO!!! watch it today.
Editors, Please don’t publish this article. I don’t want to face shoot at sight orders, nor do I have time to receive hate mails.
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